I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
