after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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