I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
