I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
