Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
