he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize