yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
