I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
