we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
