I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
