The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
