I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
