On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
