did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
