My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
