just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
