we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Randomize