my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
