I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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