omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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