Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize