You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
