When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drake has all the answers
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
