my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
