adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize