Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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