TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
