my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
