I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize