Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well you can't waste a boner
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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