you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
