what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
