I think i sorta joined a cult last night
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
