And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
