i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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