How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
