The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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