I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
