also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
