Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
