WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
