We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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