If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
