i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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