A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
