Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
