so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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