sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize