I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
