Don't you send me to vm
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
