That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
