I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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