Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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