She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
