I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
