You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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