32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
