Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think your dad took our porno
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
