As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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