I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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