Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
