Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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