me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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