I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
