Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am one with the molecules
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
