I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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